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Drummer PHIL VARONE Penning New Book, A To ZANAX

By Larry Petro, News Monkey
Monday, December 29, 2014 @ 3:50 PM


SAIGON KICK, Former SKID ROW Skin Basher

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"On this day, Dec 26th, I begin my favorite part of the year; the winter douching," writes SAIGON KICK (ex-SKID ROW) drummer Phil Varone. "This consists of a thorough audit of 2014 and compiling a list of the good, the bad and the ugly. For me, 2014 is a year I would like to expunge from my memory as it consists of mostly the bad and the ugly. It was so insane, I'm currently writing my new book titled A To Zanax, just to purge the senseless garbage I had to endure because humans do not know how to behave. (If you tell me that Zanax... isn't spelled with a Z, you will be the first idiot purged. I know how to spell Xanax, it's called a clever play on letters and that's why I'm the one with the publishing deal. Get it?)

If you annoyed me, fucked me over, convinced me to buy you a phone saying you would pay me back, started shit talking on twitter, had the balls to write me something stupid like 'stop hiding' (because I hide so well on Facebook, twitter, TV and philvarone.com) or you are just a pathetic moron like Donald Lewis who is so stupid, stupid people are offended by him, then congratulations, you will be making a cameo in my book. I'm dropping dimes on all of you useless people that have nothing better to do than bother smart people under the assumption there is no consequence. Well all of that is about to change, so buckle up because it's going to get uglier than you could ever imagine hiding behind your keyboard like the cowards you are. Of course this will all be written with my comedic brilliance whilst enjoying uncontrolled giggling, great hair days and a possible pillow fight with pregnant gingers. (let a man dream for fuck sakes)

But wait, this year I was actually told I was 'Not funny' and I was 'Too Nice'.

So I begin with this simple letter to 2015:

Dear 2015,

Please give me a pass when you're divvying out liars, scum bags, people who ask to borrow money, drama, people who ask to borrow money, 20 year old wanna be porn stars, back stabbers, 20 year old wanna be porn stars, people who ask to borrow money, drama, drama, drama, shit talkers, people posing as friends, people posing as military, people who ask to borrow money, 20 years olds that are never wrong, stalkers, and last but not least, people who ask to borrow money. I had enough in 2014 and I would like to announce my new one word slogan 'NO'.

This slogan can be used as the answer to any question: Example
1. Phil, can I have back stage passes? Answer - NO
2. Phil, can I borrow money? Answer - NO
3. Phil, can you get me a porn agent? Answer - NO and so on and so on and so on..

Side Note: Gingers are exempt from the NO slogan.

I wish the good people a great 2015... And the bad people, you'll find out soon enough when the book comes out."


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